PROFESSIONAL test target Norman alleges that SecTech Roadshow organiser’s denial of his chance to win prizes during SecTech Roadshow Happy Hour (pre-register here for SecTech Perth this Weds 12-6pm) violates his human rights.
“My head may be covered in layers of gleaming polyester but that would not stop me answering questions of the level that have won installers around Australia astonishing prizes, many of which are worth $A1000 or more,” a grimacing Norman said, flicking his hair out of his eyes and making a moue. “In fact, some installers have won multiple prizes in their cities – I’m looking at you, Brisbane.
“Honestly – winning a brilliant access control system from Inner Range, AMC or ICT, or a Pelco beach chair and a Google Home for answering questions like ‘what’s the VMS being used at SecTech Camera Shootout this year’ or ‘what’s the length of our warranty period’ – it’s too much to bear.”
Norman said the Universal Declaration of Human Rights supported his position unequivically.
“My case will be built around UDHR Article 27,” said Norman, hunching his shoulders and slapping down his book. “Article 27 stipulates ‘everyone has the right to share in scientific advancement and its benefits’.
“Every year these smart home and security management solutions get more and more capable, with remote management, powerful database management capability and native support for video surveillance, as well as multiple communications formats – if that’s not scientific advancement, I don’t know what is.”
Norman shrugged off suggestions he was more metaphor than mankind.
“Even the cleverest people can’t explain the so-called human soul – this self-described experience of consciousness as an emergent property of the biochemical processes of the human brain – without resorting to abstract nouns,” he said, waving a dog-eared Volume II of F.C. Coppleston.
“And around here we say people-kind, thanks very much.”